What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You Right Now

I was scrolling through my calendar last week, and I felt my chest tighten. Three work meetings. Two kid activities. A holiday party I'd said yes to months ago. And I realized...

Dec 02, 2025

I was scrolling through my calendar last week, and I felt my chest tighten.

Three work meetings. Two kid activities. A holiday party I’d said yes to months ago. Grocery shopping. Meal prep. Laundry that had been sitting in the basket for three days.

None of it was unreasonable. All of it was manageable on paper.

But I’d already hit my capacity—and the week hadn’t even started yet.

The Moment You Realize You’re At Your Limit

Here’s what I’m learning about capacity: It’s not always a dramatic breakdown.

Sometimes it’s just looking at your calendar and feeling dread instead of excitement.

Sometimes it’s snapping at your kids over something small that normally wouldn’t bother you.

Sometimes it’s feeling yourself start to spiral and recognizing, “Oh. I’m at my limit.”

The work isn’t always in pushing through. Sometimes the work is in recognizing when you’ve reached your capacity—and actually doing something about it.

For years, I didn’t have language for this. I just knew I’d get snappy. Irritable. Overwhelmed. Everything felt like too much, but I couldn’t name why.

Now I know: I’d exceeded my capacity, and I was running on empty.

What Capacity Actually Means

Capacity isn’t weakness. It’s not about being strong enough or tough enough or having enough willpower.

Capacity is simply how much you can hold at any given time.

And here’s the thing nobody tells you: Your capacity changes.

Some days, you can handle a full schedule, three kid meltdowns, a work crisis, and still have energy left over. Some days, you’re at capacity by 10 AM.

Some weeks, you’re killing it—meetings, clients, family stuff, all of it. Some weeks, just getting through the basics feels like climbing a mountain.

Neither version is wrong. Your capacity is what it is on any given day.

And the faster you can recognize when you’ve hit it, the faster you can actually take care of yourself before everything falls apart.

The Baby in the Crib Example

I tell clients with new babies this all the time:

If that baby is screaming and you’re at capacity—if you feel yourself getting overwhelmed, frustrated, angry—it’s okay to put the baby in the crib and walk away for five to ten minutes.

The baby is safe. The baby will be okay. Yes, they’re crying. Yes, it’s hard to hear.

But it is so much better for you to take a shower, change the scenery, hear the water running—even if it’s a stressful shower—than to push yourself past your limit.

Because when you exceed your capacity, that’s when things get dangerous. That’s when you snap. That’s when you say things you don’t mean or do things you regret.

Recognizing your capacity and stepping away? That’s not neglect. That’s wisdom.

It’s knowing that you need to put your oxygen mask on first. Not someday. Right now.

When I Hit Capacity This Year

There was a client situation recently where I realized I needed to step back.

Not because I didn’t care. Not because the work wasn’t important. But because I’d taken on too much, and I could feel myself getting to that place where I wasn’t showing up as my best self.

I had to send an email saying, “I need to adjust our schedule.”

And you know what happened? Nothing terrible. The world didn’t end. The client understood.

Because most people would rather you tell them you’re at capacity than watch you try to push through and do a terrible job.

With my kids, I’ve had moments where I’ve said, “I need you guys to play quietly for twenty minutes because Mom needs a break.”

Not because they did anything wrong. Just because I’d hit my capacity and needed to reset.

And they’re learning from that. They’re learning that it’s okay to say, “I need a break.” That recognizing your limits isn’t weakness—it’s self-awareness.

December is Capacity Season

Here’s why I’m writing this newsletter today, on December 2nd:

Because we’re entering the season where everyone exceeds their capacity and pretends they’re fine.

Holiday shopping. Parties. Hosting. Cooking. Family dynamics. Financial stress. End-of-year work deadlines. School events. Gift exchanges.

All of it piling up while we smile and say, “It’s fine! It’s the holidays!”

And then we wonder why we’re snapping at our partners, yelling at our kids, crying in Target, and counting down the days until January.

It’s because we’re all running at 150% capacity and pretending that’s sustainable.

It’s not.

What to Do When You Hit Capacity

So here’s what I want you to practice this month:

Recognizing when you’ve hit your capacity—and actually doing something about it.

Not pushing through. Not toughing it out. Not proving you can handle it.

Actually stopping and saying, “I’m at my limit. What do I need to do differently?”

Maybe that means:

Canceling plans you don’t actually want to attend
Saying no to hosting this year
Buying the cookies instead of baking them
Leaving the family gathering early
Asking for help instead of doing everything yourself
Taking a twenty-minute break in your car before going inside
Ordering takeout instead of cooking
Letting something stay undone even though it bothers you

Small adjustments when you recognize you’re at capacity prevent big meltdowns later.

The Permission You Need

I know what you’re thinking: “But I can’t just cancel. I can’t just say no. People are counting on me.”

Listen: People would rather you show up rested than resent them.

They’d rather you be honest about your capacity than watch you spiral.

They’d rather you take care of yourself than martyr yourself for their comfort.

And if they wouldn’t? Then they’re not safe people to exceed your capacity for.

You’re allowed to have limits. You’re allowed to reach them. You’re allowed to say, “I’ve hit my capacity and I need to adjust.”

That’s not failing. That’s not weakness. That’s not letting anyone down.

That’s being honest about what you can actually sustain.

How to Recognize Your Capacity

Here are the signs I watch for in myself:

Snapping at people I love over small things
Feeling irritable for no clear reason
Everything feeling like “too much”
Wanting to cry or rage over minor disappointments
Not wanting to talk to anyone
Feeling trapped or claustrophobic in my own life
Fantasizing about running away or disappearing
Physical tension I can’t release
Not sleeping well even when I’m exhausted

These aren’t character flaws. They’re capacity indicators.

They’re your body and mind saying, “We’ve exceeded what we can handle. We need relief.”

And the faster you can recognize them and respond, the better off you’ll be.

This December, Choose Capacity

As we move through this month, I want you to remember:

You don’t have to do it all. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. You don’t have to prove you can handle it.

You’re allowed to recognize your capacity and honor it.

Even when—especially when—everyone else is pushing past theirs and expecting you to do the same.

Even when people are disappointed. Even when it’s not what you planned. Even when it feels like letting others down.

Because the alternative is exceeding your capacity until something breaks.

And I promise you: It’s easier to prevent that break than to clean up after it.

So this month, practice saying it: “I’ve hit my capacity.”

Not as an apology. Not as a failure. As a fact.

And then do something about it.

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