This Dog I Never Wanted Became My Greatest Teacher About Love
Growing up without pets, I couldn't understand the appeal. Then we got Brutus three years ago, and everything changed...
I never wanted a dog. Let me be clear about that.
Growing up without pets, I couldn't understand the appeal. The mess, the expense, the constant need for attention. When friends would gush about their dogs, I'd nod politely and think, "I just don't get it."
Then we got Brutus three years ago, and everything changed.
The Wednesday before rivalry week
It was the week of Thanksgiving—rivalry weekend for any college football fan. The most important Saturday of the year was approaching: Ohio State versus Michigan.
Getting our French bulldog that Wednesday and naming him after Brutus the Buckeye wasn't just about football pride (though as someone born and raised in Toledo, Ohio, that rivalry runs deep). It was about adding joy to our home right before our favorite family tradition.
What I didn't expect was how much this little guy would teach me about unconditional love.
What I didn't know I was missing
"Mom, look what Brutus is doing!" became the most common phrase in our house. Whether he was chasing his tail, snoring in impossible positions, or getting unreasonably excited about a leaf blowing in the yard, Brutus brought laughter into our daily routine.
But it was more than entertainment. This dog loved us with an intensity I'd never experienced.
He doesn't care if I'm having a bad day or if I forgot to take him on his morning walk. He doesn't judge me for working too late or getting frustrated with the kids. He just loves us. Completely. Unconditionally. Every single day.
The lessons from a little dog with a big name
During a client session last month, Sharon was struggling with self-worth—feeling like she had to earn love from the people in her life. She noticed Brutus in the background of my video call.
"He's just... happy to see you," she observed. "Even though you're working."
"Yes," I said. "That's what he does. He doesn't love me because I'm productive or successful or because I've had a good day. He loves me because I exist."
Sharon was quiet for a moment. "I don't think I've ever experienced that kind of love."
What unconditional actually means
This is the Recognition phase of the Life Upgrade Method—recognizing the patterns we've accepted as normal that might not be serving us.
Many of us have been raised to believe love is conditional. That we have to be good enough, smart enough, helpful enough to deserve affection. We perform for love instead of simply receiving it.
This reminds me of what I shared about the art of receiving—sometimes we need to learn how to accept love without earning it.
Watching Brutus love our family without conditions helped me see what I'd been missing—and what we all deserve.
The ripple effect of unconditional love
When you experience unconditional love—even from a 20-pound French bulldog who snorts when he's excited—it changes how you show up in the world.
I've become more patient with my kids because Brutus reminds me daily that love isn't about performance. I'm gentler with myself on difficult days because I see how he accepts me exactly as I am.
He's taught my children that love can be both silly and serious, that caring for another living being is a privilege, and that sometimes the best way to show love is simply by being present.
The joy of giving and receiving
Taking care of Brutus has been different than I expected. Yes, there's work involved—walks and feeding and cleaning up after him. But mostly, it's been pure joy.
He greets us like we're celebrities every time we come home. He finds delight in the simplest things—a new tennis ball, sunshine streaming through the window, the sound of his food being poured into his bowl.
His capacity for joy is infectious. His love is uncomplicated.
As I explored in my piece on empowering your growth journey, sometimes the most profound lessons come from unexpected sources.
What I'm wondering
When was the last time you experienced love without conditions? Not love you had to earn or prove you deserved, but love that simply existed because you exist?
Sometimes the greatest teachers come in unexpected packages. Sometimes a little dog with a big name can remind you what love is supposed to feel like.
A few friendly notes: Client names are always changed to protect privacy. This newsletter may contain affiliate links to products I genuinely love and use myself. While I'm a licensed therapist, this content is for educational purposes and isn't medical advice - think of it as a conversation with a friend who happens to know about mental health. For personalized support, always consult your healthcare provider.
Loved hearing about your pup. 🐶 loved your writing. Kip is like that for me. It’s soooo cheese in the best way, but I feel like they save us. They rewild us to who we are beyond all the trappings 😅