The Question I've Been Avoiding Asking You
After months of sharing stories about my clients, I want to know about you...
Hi friends,
I've been writing to you for months now, sharing stories about clients and insights from sessions and observations about the patterns I see in my work. But I realized I've been doing something that feels a little one-sided.
I've been talking about other people's inner worlds while only barely touching on yours.
And here's the thing—I'm genuinely curious about your life. Not in a therapist-gathering-data way, but in a human-connecting-with-humans way.
As I shared in my welcome newsletter about unleashing your inner glow, this work is deeply personal to me. I've been on my own journey of learning to invest in myself and trust my own worth—and I want to make sure our conversations here feel like actual conversations, not just me talking at you.
The stories behind the silence
Every week, some of you hit reply and share pieces of your experience with me. Those emails are often the highlight of my week—not because I'm collecting case studies, but because they remind me that we're all struggling with versions of the same things.
The woman who wrote about working sixty-hour weeks while everyone thinks she has it together. The one who shared that she cries in her car after difficult family dinners. The person who admitted she doesn't know how to rest without feeling guilty about it.
These glimpses into your real lives mean everything to me. They remind me that behind every success story is a human being figuring things out as they go.
What I wish I could ask you over coffee
If we were sitting across from each other right now, here's what I'd want to know:
What's the thing you're dealing with that you haven't told anyone about? Not the big, dramatic stuff necessarily, but the daily internal struggle that you carry around.
Is it the way you question every decision? The exhaustion of always being the reliable one? The loneliness of feeling like you can't be honest about how hard things are?
Is it imposter syndrome that whispers every time something good happens? The guilt about wanting more when you already have so much? The fear that if you stop pushing so hard, everything will fall apart?
The conversation I want to have
I'm starting something new next week—deeper, more honest conversations about the real stuff. The patterns that keep us stuck. The beliefs that run in the background. The questions we're afraid to ask out loud.
But I want to make sure I'm talking about things that actually matter to you, not just what I think you need to hear.
So here's what I'm wondering: What's the thing you most wish you could figure out about yourself?
Maybe it's why you can't accept compliments without deflecting them. Why you feel guilty every time you prioritize your own needs. Why success doesn't feel the way you thought it would.
Maybe it's why you attract certain types of relationships. Why you procrastinate on things that matter to you. Why you feel like you're always performing instead of just being yourself.
Maybe it's something else entirely that I haven't even thought of.
No pressure, just curiosity
I'm not asking because I have all the answers. I'm asking because I think there's something powerful about naming the things we usually keep to ourselves.
Hit reply and tell me—what's the thing you're wondering about in your own inner world? What pattern do you notice but don't quite understand? What would you ask yourself if you were brave enough?
You don't have to share anything you're not comfortable with. But if something comes up as you read this, I'd love to hear it.
Starting next week, I want our conversations to feel more like actual conversations. Less me talking at you, more us figuring things out together.
What's coming
Next month, I'm diving into some of the core patterns I see in my work—the ones that seem to show up everywhere, with almost everyone, in different forms.
Things like why smart women doubt their own competence. Why setting boundaries feels like betraying people. Why rest feels like failure. Why we can be incredibly successful and still feel like we're not enough.
But I want to make sure I'm addressing the things that actually resonate with your experience, not just the things I think are important.
So tell me: what would you want us to talk about?
What's the conversation you wish someone would start? What's the thing you've been wondering about but haven't found the right place to explore?
I'm here for the real stuff. The messy, complicated, human stuff that doesn't fit into neat categories or simple solutions.
Thank you for being part of this community. Thank you for reading these thoughts and sometimes sharing your own. Thank you for showing up authentically in a world that often rewards performance over presence.
Talk to you soon,
Mary
Next week we're going deeper. If you've been reading along and thinking "I wish she'd talk about..." now's your chance to let me know. I read every reply.