It's Not Vanity. It's a Promise You Keep to Yourself.
Yes, it's temporary. Yes, it's "just" nails. And yes — that's exactly why it matters.
I want to tell you about a decision I made years ago that people might call vain. I don’t care. It changed something in me, and I think it might change something in you.
I committed to getting my nails done. Not once. Regularly. As in: when I check out, I schedule the next appointment. Every time. No exceptions.
And I’ll tell you what made it hard — because it wasn’t the money, and it wasn’t the time. It was the guilt.
Getting your nails done is temporary. Two weeks, maybe three, before it needs to be redone. It’s not an investment that lasts. It’s not a degree or a savings account or something you can show for it a year from now. And I grew up in a world where spending money on yourself — especially on something temporary — felt like a luxury you hadn’t earned.
So here’s what I decided: I will never take my nail polish off at home. The only time I’ve done it was during COVID, when there was literally no other option. Since then? Never. Because I know that if I start removing the color at home, I’ll learn to live without it. And I don’t want to learn to live without the thing that brings me joy every time I look at my hands.
Some people would call that dramatic. I call it a boundary. A boundary with myself, about the kind of life I’m willing to accept.
Here’s the reframe: Investing in something temporary isn’t wasteful. It’s honest. Most of the things that matter most in your life are temporary. The meal you cook tonight. The hug you gave your kid this morning. The conversation that made you laugh until you cried. None of that lasts. And you’d never call any of it a waste.
So why do we treat our own appearance — the nails, the hair, the clothes, the things that make us feel like ourselves — as if they need to be permanent to be worth it?
It’s not vanity. Vanity is performing for other people. This is a promise you keep to yourself. A promise that says: I will not learn to live without the things that make me feel good. I will not settle for less than what I’m currently receiving. I will not break this appointment with myself.
That’s the reframe. The temporary things you do for yourself aren’t frivolous. They’re the recurring evidence that you still matter to yourself. And every time you honor that appointment, you’re saying: I’m not going backward from here.
“Investing in something temporary isn’t wasteful. It’s honest. Most of the things that matter most in your life are temporary. So why do we treat our own appearance as if it needs to be permanent to be worth it?”
This week’s pivot prompt: What’s one “temporary” investment in yourself that you stopped making because it felt frivolous? The nails, the blowout, the new lip color, the outfit that’s just for you? What would it mean to decide you’re not learning to live without it?
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Related from the archive:
🔗 How I Built A Joy-Filled Life One Small Choice At A Time — small investments compound into a life you love
🔗 The Power of Longing: Reflections Inspired by Steve Martin’s Story — honoring what you want instead of dismissing it
🔗 One Pattern. One Week. One Pivot. — one decision, one pivot
When you’re ready, here are ways to go deeper:
🧡 The Intentional Life — our community for women doing this work together. Workshops, live Q&As, therapy guides, and a room that actually gets it. Regular pricing: $97/quarter or $297/year. Learn more →
📄 New here? Start with 5 Pivots That Changed Everything — the free guide to the reframes that change how the women I work with show up. Get it here.
💛 Know a woman who needs this on Tuesdays? Share The Tuesday Pivot and I’ll send you a thank-you.