How I Built A Joy-Filled Life One Small Choice At A Time
This morning, I woke up in Arizona where it's already 95 degrees at 7 AM, in a house we've called home for 16 years, and felt something I spent years learning how to feel...
This morning, I woke up in Arizona where it's already 95 degrees at 7 AM, in a house we've called home for 7 years, getting ready to take our kids to a school they've attended since kindergarten.
I looked around at the life we've built—imperfect, ordinary, beautiful—and felt something I spent years learning how to feel: deep contentment.
The daily choice of enough
Every single day, I make choices. Small ones that might seem insignificant but actually shape everything.
I get up and enjoy my beautiful sunny day (every day is a beautiful sunny day here). I get my iced coffee. I let Brutus out and start my morning routine.
Recently, I've been setting my washing machine to finish a load around the time I get up in the morning. It feels amazing to get a head start on chores and use the morning momentum to get the load of laundry folded and put away. I feel like I've accomplished more than just making my bed or getting out the door. It's helped with my overall stress and maintaining the household.
I choose to work in my bright orange office with the Disney mural instead of apologizing for the space that brings me joy.
I choose to get excited about our next Disneyland trip instead of feeling guilty about the "frivolous" expense.
I choose to laugh at Brutus's snoring instead of getting annoyed by the inconvenience of pet ownership.
These aren't one-time decisions. They're daily choices between joy and obligation, between contentment and constant seeking, between being present and always planning the next thing.
The small choice that felt revolutionary
There's one daily choice I make now that my "old self" would have considered completely frivolous: getting my nails done.
That was a big goal for me for a long time. It was something I didn't think was necessary, and it was an expense I thought I could save money on for something else.
But now I see it differently. It's not about the nails themselves—it's about the choice to invest in something that makes me feel good. It's about prioritizing my joy in small, daily ways.
What I've learned about happiness
After a month of sharing stories about joy—from season passes to office walls to French bulldogs—here's what I know for sure:
Joy isn't something that happens to you. It's something you choose, again and again, in small moments and big decisions.
Your happiness doesn't take away from anyone else's. It actually creates more joy in the world.
The life you have right now, imperfect as it is, contains more beauty than you might be seeing.
You don't need anyone's permission to prioritize your own happiness.
When choosing joy feels hard
But I want to be honest: there are days when choosing joy feels difficult. When old patterns try to creep back in. When the voice in my head tells me I'm being selfish or irresponsible.
On those days, I remind myself of my non-negotiables. I remind myself of who I've become and who I'm working to be. I remember that I don't want to go back to a previous version of myself or a previous life that I no longer fit into.
This is what the complete Life Upgrade Method teaches us:
Recognition: I recognized that I'd been treating joy like a luxury instead of a necessity.
Reflection: I reflected on what actually brought me and my family happiness, not what looked most responsible.
Renewal: I broke up with the old patterns of always seeking better instead of appreciating good.
Rise: I upgraded to daily choices that prioritize connection, authenticity, and joy.
As I explored in my piece on empowering your growth journey, transformation happens through consistent small choices, not dramatic overhauls.
Your joy-filled life starts now
You don't have to wait for perfect circumstances. You don't need a bigger budget or more time or different responsibilities.
You can set your washing machine to finish when you wake up. You can paint the wall your favorite color today. You can plan the experience that excites you this week. You can invest in something small that makes you feel good. You can stop apologizing for the things that make you happy right now. You can choose contentment with your current life while still being open to growth.
The choice that's always available
Right now, you have a choice. You can keep operating from the old patterns—joy is selfish, happiness is earned, contentment is settling—or you can choose differently.
You can choose to believe that your joy matters. You can choose to invest in experiences that bring connection. You can choose to create spaces that reflect your authentic self. You can choose to appreciate what you have while still being open to what's coming.
This is what I meant when I wrote about breaking the rules to ignite creativity—sometimes the most creative thing you can do is design a life that actually fits you.
What I know about you
You opened this newsletter because something in you is ready for more joy. You're tired of treating your happiness like an afterthought. You're ready to prioritize connection, authenticity, and the things that make you come alive.
That readiness? That's everything. That's where transformation begins.
The invitation
As we close out August and this exploration of joy-filled living, I want to leave you with this: Your life doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful. Your circumstances don't have to be ideal for you to experience happiness.
The orange wall is waiting. The experience that excites you is available. The small daily choice that brings you joy is right here. The permission to prioritize your happiness? You already have it.
Your joy-filled life isn't coming someday. It's available right now, in this moment, exactly as you are.
The only question is: Will you choose it?
As I shared about mindful moments—joy is found in daily choices, not just big moments.
A few friendly notes: Client names are always changed to protect privacy. This newsletter may contain affiliate links to products I genuinely love and use myself. While I'm a licensed therapist, this content is for educational purposes and isn't medical advice - think of it as a conversation with a friend who happens to know about mental health. For personalized support, always consult your healthcare provider.