These Are My People
You have more people than you think. Your brow girl counts.
Last week we put the phone down. This week, we count who is actually around us.
Your people.
A client was telling me about her community one day, and she lit up. She listed her brow girl. The guy at the shop who always says hello. A handful of faces she sees on a loop through her week. And she said, “These are my team members. These are my people. And those are community.” She was right. And naming it out loud changed how rich her whole life looked to her.
We have been sold a narrow story about connection. That it only counts if it is deep, close, and constant. So a woman looks at her two close friends and her handful of texts a week and decides she is failing at connection. She never counts the whole crowd of good, regular people already holding her up.
Here is the reframe. Community is not one tight inner ring. It is a wide web of regular faces, and most of yours is already here, just uncounted. Your brow girl. The neighbor who waves. The barista who knows your order. The woman in your Tuesday class. Those are your people.
And here is the freeing part. You do not have to force closeness where it does not fit. A client told me she would rather go do trivia with a bunch of randos and let a real friendship grow out of a shared hobby than grind for connection in her kid’s high stakes school group. I told her the truth. You can go through life just fine without the high stakes group. Build your people where it comes easier. And not every connection has to be deep to be worth it. Another woman said it perfectly about one of her groups. “I am not there to make friends.” And that was healthy, not cold. Some rooms are for a shared task, and that is enough.
The letter stays free, and it will stay that way, because this is the work I most want in your hands.
So here is your pivot this week. Make a list of your regular people. Not just your closest few. Your brow girl, the neighbor, the barista, the woman in your class. Look at how wide it actually is. Then pick one, and give them a little more. A real question. A name remembered. A small kindness. There are more of them than you think.
If this is the line that hit you, restack it with that one line. I want to see which one lands the hardest.
Pivot Prompt: Name one regular in your web. Hit reply with who.
Last week we swapped the scroll for a walk. If you missed it, read You’re Not Missing Anything.
For anyone building connection through a shared activity: read Virtual Coworking: How to Find Community.
Three small things that help: tap the heart, comment with one person on your list, and restack this. New here? Subscribe free so you don’t miss the rest of August.
Want to go deeper than a weekly letter? That is what The Intentional Life is for. Come whenever you are ready.
